Finally I am back. My exams went well and yes I survived them. Frankly speaking , on the last day of my ‘ class 12th board exams’, it was actually hard to digest the fact that they are really over. I mean all the frenzy around this ‘ life determining’ exam had come to an end and the funny part is that I felt some kind of a void in life.
Nonetheless , I am back to normal debarring a few times when the thought of results gives me jitters and then I bounce back to reality with a positive thought that since I have worked so hard, the fruit is going to be sweet.
Let me tell you something that has been brewing in my mind since the last day of my exams. After my psychology paper which was the last one, I came home and called my teacher. We were discussing the answers of some difficult questions and I had all of them right but to my dismay I got one of the questions wrong in Section A which was the easiest section. I was completely disheartened . I was telling myself that “you got that wrong otherwise you had a chance of securing full marks.” I withdrew myself and sat with hung and pale face wondering about the 2 marks I had lost. I felt my heart paining.
But suddenly some kind of a voice inside me said, ” Hey wait! You can’t demean all the questions that you got right for just one question.” This took me to another line of thought and a number of questions and answers started erupting in me.
” Have I defined happiness so narrowly for myself?”
” Yes you have and it’s not right.”
” Today I lost two marks and I am so sad. Later in life I may lose many things. Will then sadness completely engulf me?”
” If things go the way they are right now, yes it will.”
” So then this means that I will never be happy in life because my frame of happiness is too small and rigid?”
” Yes again. Happiness is subjective. It is a reward we give to ourselves. If we can be happy only if we choose se it for ourselves. Happiness can be made so strong that it can overshadow all kinds of pains and remain with us in all circumstances.”
I was no more sad. I decided to be happy for things I have done right in exams. I realised this fact that an answer sheet cannot be perfect, an exam cannot be perfect and similarly life too cannot be just perfect. But the spirit we carry decides how imperfections can prove to be bliss. Happiness is not the result of the perfect, it is the ingredient to a perfect life.
Many of us are driven by motives, desires and dreams but every time things don’t work out our way. But this doesn’t means that we will sit with a hung and pale face. We must rejoice for even the littlest blessing and achievement.
I am trying to rediscover happiness. Help me out. Tell me how do you define happiness or any experience that had left you with an insight about happiness.