Breaking the frames #When Clothes don’t fit me…

The society builds for its members certain kinds of frames in which everyone is expected to fit regardless of their features and their choices. The one who doesn’t fits is criticized , tormented, made to be afraid and finally crushed.

Female are always told what to wear and what not. Sometimes I wonder all people see in a women is her ‘appropriateness’ ( like if they get sometime offstaring at their skin). It doesn’t matter if you are a girl next door or a celebrity like Priyanka Chopra. ( C’mon its her choice as to what to wear while meeting the PM and believe me she looked just perfect.)

We all are fighting and struggling with it, either in silence or through rebellion. Let me a share a small conservation I had with an uncle who leaves in my neighbourhood which gave me some sense of satisfaction.

So the scene was that a few students were waiting for their bus in the morning. One of the girls was a wearing salwar suit ( for my foreign friends, its a an ethnic Indian dress) which is actually her school uniform. Her father, who can be perceived as a perfect sample of men overeaten by stereotypes in particular to “ideal way a women should behave”, commented that girls don’t look good in skirts . So salwar suits should be the school uniform of every school. After all salwar suit is the traditional attire of India and we must stick to our culture. And then he gave a long speech on its pros . He ended himself with weird kind of a pride in his eyes which also awaited a round of thundering praises and cheers.

I could feel my blood boiling. But when he glanced at me expecting an approval, I decided to agree with him.

“Yes Uncle. You are absolutely right . Why not?”

” But just one thing, if culture is everything you care about.then boys should also be made to wear dhoti kurta to school. Because as far as I remember trousers and shirts are of English origin.”

” And if the matter is something else, then please Uncle be kind enough to keep it with yourself. Thank you!”

His face made an awkward position that reflected his distaste over my view point but I didn’t  care.

Let me make one thing clear, through this post I don’t want to fight for a girl’s right to wear skirts or short dresses, but a girl’s freedom to wear whatever she likes and wants, Freedom that she won’t be judged by her clothes. A girl wearing a skirt will not be seen as ‘characterless’ and the one wearing a saree will not be underestimated and disregarded as behen ji.

I am not restricted to my clothes…i am beyond material!

share your thoughts with me and with one another

stereotypes will freeze if we will not break the ice !


12 thoughts on “Breaking the frames #When Clothes don’t fit me…

  1. I can’t agree with you more! I am living in South Korea where conservative social norms still exist. However, a lot of women are trying to stand up their rights and status. Recently, Feminism is the most hot topic in our society! I got big impression from your post and glad that female all over the world are fighting against distorted gender percecption!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for reading! Women across the world share almost the same stories of discrimination, just the degree and situations differ. Sometimes I feel that the whole concept of feminism is misguided and misused. But we need to speak up for r ownselves


  2. That was one good answer, Urvashi. 😊 What I do not understand is though people say they are “well educated”, “sophisticated” and all that, they thinking is so limited and ancient. Judging people based on their looks or clothes is so not okay!


    • You are absolutely right! I am always so amazed to see that people carry so narrow mindsets. Choice is a precious thing in our society. It is ridiculous that when a women is harrased or assaulted, people put the blame on het clothes


  3. Wow this one is so on point
    And this is so nicely written
    I loved the title
    And I think I should learn the skills of answering back from you .
    For me your mindset tell the narrowness
    Not the size of the clothes

    Liked by 1 person


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